Merry Squishmas
by Teenage Mexican Master Chief
Summary: Rick finds a friend. Crack-fic


"Hey Carl, get over here I found something!" Rick yells as he leans over the creature in the wet sand, the tides gently washing over it. "And bring a bucket!" He quickly adds. There below the shallow surface is a wriggling grayish, squid. Rick's heart fills with glee when he recognizes what the creature is! Carl returns with a bucket and kneels beside Rick. " Do you see that Carl?" Rick asks rhetorically without looking away.

" Yea, it's a squid, but what is it doing here?" Carl asks, his eyebrows furrowing.

Rick gives him a 'Dafuq' look, " We're at a beach, it must have washed up on shore."

" What are we going to do with it? Put it in deeper water so it can swim back out into the ocean?" Carl asks as he moves towards the squid, the water washing over his ankles.

" That's a silly idea!" Rick shouts, snatching the steel bucket out of Carl's hands and scoops the squid up in the bucket, filling it with water. He stands triumphantly on the shore line, beaming.

" Now what are you going to do with it?" Carl asks, even more confused.

" Keep it of course!" Rick says like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

" You get to keep a squid and I can't have a dog?!" Carl yells, his fists balled at his sides, seething.

" C'mon Carl, it's a squid!"

" So?!" Carl yells and throws his arms up, exacerbated.

" It's a squid Carl." Rick says excitedly.

" A dog can protect us, and alert us when something or someone is near, a squid will just try to escape the bucket!" Carl finishes with pointing at the squid half out of the bucket.

Rick gently pushes it back in the container.

" Don't you see the significance of having a squid?" Rick puts his finger out and wags it while bobbing his head.

Carl rolls his eyes and walks back to the abandoned hotel they now call home. Rick holds the bucket at eye level, the squid locks eyes with him and the two share a moment of understanding. " I'm going to call you Squishmas!" Rick says happily and the connection was lost. If the squid could have rolled it's eyes, it probably would have.

The tides begins to come in, Rick stares at the horizon and sighs dreamily. Things are really looking up. A new home on the beach, a constant supply of food and other resources, and it is practically safe minus the occasional stray walker, and a squid!

A seagull sees the opportunity to snatch a feast and nose dives for the bucket. Rick suddenly turns around and picks up the bucket, walking towards the hotel, swinging his arms causing water to slosh around. The seagull quickly flies up, foiled again.

Rick sets Squishmas down on the table, some water spilling onto the table cloth.

"Rick?"

"Ah good you caught dinner." Carol says smiling.

Rick snatches Squishmas up and holds the bucket to his chest in horror. " Stay away from Squishmas!"

" Squishmas?" Carol asks and folds her arms over her chest.

" Yea...Dad's new pet." Carl says as he walks into the kitchen and sits down.

" He's not a pet, he's my child." Rick says defensively. Carl rolls his eyes and walks out of the kitchen to find Tyrese and Judith. At least they weren't assholes.

* * *

Everyone sits at the table, a warm full feeling in the air. A feast of canned food they managed to find and lots of fish, not your average Christmas dinner. It's something though. Rick takes his seat at the head of the table and puts Squishmas in Carl's seat when he left to use the bathroom.

"Dammit Rick! Get that thing out of the boy's chair." Carol whispers harshly.

"Then where is Squishmas going to sit?" Rick asks in a pout.

"On the floor." Carol snaps.

Carl returns to find his seat taken. He places the bucket on the floor next to Rick who angrily glares back at him.

"Why don't we say a little somethin' now that we're all together for this nice meal." Tyrese interupts, trying to break the tension.

"We are so thankful for being all together, safe, and having this wonderful dinner together this night." Maggie says with her head bowed.

"And my very wonderful new friend, Squishmas." Rick adds, much to everyone's annoyance.

Unbeknownst to Rick, the squid was half way out of the bucket. He feels something brush his leg and looks down to see Squishmas trying to climb out. He gently pushes the animal back into the bucket.

"Okay let's eat!" Carol says and starts passing food around.

"What are you going to do with that thing?" Glen asks.

"Keep it." Rick says, tired of explaining the obvious.

Glen half nods his head and goes back to filling his plate with food.

* * *

After the meal is finished and everything washed and put away, everyone slowly dispersed and made their way off to bed.

Rick fills the bathtub with seawater from a makeshift pump.. He poured Squishmas into the tub and casts the bucket aside, then climbs in as well. He wraps his arms around the panicking squid and drifts off to dreamland.

The next morning Carl opens the door to the bathroom and sees Rick standing there fully clothed soaking wet and covered in ink.

" Hi Carl." Rick greets him.

" Why are you wet?"

" Oh you know, didn't want Squishmas to get lonely on his first night being here." Rick says awkwardly.

" Well then."

" I miss your mom so much." Rick whines and walks out slowly, his head low.

Carl stares after Rick not sure what he just saw. He goes into the bathroom and stares at the squid, it freezes, trying in vain to blend in with the bathtub. Carl slides the shower curtain close and goes about his business.

Rick bangs on the door and breaks it down.

"What the fuck?!" Carl screams.

"I left my lil buddy in here." Rick says as he walks past Carl, grabbing the bucket and scooping up Squishmas, then walks out like nothing happened.

Carl stares after Rick's retreating form, water sloshing out of the bucket making a mess. He shakes his head and sighs in resignation.


End file.
